I love gays.
I can’t state it any more plainly than that. Homos. Queers.
Lesbos. Fudge packers. Clam bumpers.
I love them all. A lot.
I’ve had homosexual friends my entire life, some overtly
gay, others not-so-much. To a person, they’re much, much smarter than breeders
– my kind. To a person, they’re incredibly creative. Something about a chick
eating pussy or a dude pounding another dude in the ass brings out greatness in
literature, music, painting, and so much more.
I adore drag queens. RuPaul is a genius.
Any objection to their orientation or lifestyles is
fundamentally retarded. They’re insanely wonderful parents. They’re life-partners
of the first order, and committed gay couples I’ve known have shined far above
most hetero marriages and relationships I’ve witnessed.
Gay dominated neighborhoods are the best.
When I lived a year in Mission Hills, an old money
neighborhood in San Diego tucked between downtown proper and the notoriously
gay village, Hillcrest, I routinely made my way to its bars, cafes, galleries,
restaurants, discos.
Where hetero communities are obsessed with cops and rules
and tattling on one another, faggotropolises are meccas of diversity (KELSO LAW 8479852: No dude, hetero or homo, is ever truly racist – a hot chick, or hot
dude in the case of a gay fool, is a hot a chick or a hot a dude and therefor
fuckable no matter her or his ethnicity … our dicks tell the truth about racism’s
impossibility), paragons of free association, and such life-affirming areas
in every city around the world.
I honestly don’t really remember all that much, but one of
my earliest sexual experiences might have been homosexual. I must’ve blocked it
out. I really cannot remember particulars. But I think the first time I ever
ejaculated was at the hand of another boy my age, somewhere around 9 or 10. It was more mechanical than anything, probably. There wasn’t any
romance. Motherfucker didn’t even buy me flowers or promise to love me.
Sleeping bags were involved. That’s all I can summon from my memory.
I hadn’t had cause to think about it until many years later.
Some long-ago forgotten girlfriend was railing against homos, and it just erupted
out of me, Hey, I think I might have had
a gay experience! She shut up fast. But my interest in dudes just wasn’t
there ultimately. I am a flaming hetero, and I have been for as long as I could
articulate my preference. Guys are fucking disgusting. But, at least as a
child, I didn’t see anything wrong with a hand job from a friend.
So why the sharing of parts of my life you never, ever
needed to know?
I want it to be clear to any reader forever I’ve nothing but
love and deep affection for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgenders, and fans
of Rise Against (is there a worse, more cliché-driven band on the planet?).
Love. Affection. Yep.
But read this carefully: GAYS AND LESBIANS HAVE NO RIGHT TO FORCE ANYONE TO BAKE A GAY WEDDING
CAKE OR TO TAKE PICTURES FOR A LESBIAN WEDDING.
None.
News of late has some dancing in the streets after courts
and a state governor caved-in to forcing private businesses to do the bidding
of an increasingly powerful gay lobby.
The 1964 Civil Rights Act (CRA) started what now amounts to
our modern legislative nonsense.
The logic runs along the lines of private businesses opening
their doors to the public, benefitting from municipal, state, federal services
(roads, bridges, water, electricity, fire, police, etc.), and since ethnic
minority groups also contribute to the payment for such services, by way of
taxation, private businesses who make use of police protection, interstate highways, roads, and so on are obligated to
serve everyone.
And the logic I am with, to a degree.
Certainly government services cannot be denied to anyone who
pays. Never. Ever. Not for any reason.
But what the CRA actually did do was start a snowball
effect, essentially taking the notion of government discrimination, which is
the only time it can be truly discrimination in the legal sense, and blanket
over the prime right of association.
It’s impossible for businesses not to use government
services when the services in question are monopolized by fiat, by legislation,
and enforced through the barrel of the state’s gun.
There is no crime in being homophobic. There is no crime in
being racist. There is no crime in refusing to allow Christians to rent a room
in your house. There is no crime in preferring the hiring of Jews over
African-Americans.
While I disagree with all of the above phobias, ists, isms,
and preferences in my personal life, I find it despicable and a far greater evil to force a religious
person, a racist, or a bigot to work or provide a good or service to someone
whom they’d prefer to have no dealings.
It’s a kind of slavery, and it doesn’t change anyone’s mind.
All running to a third-party, middle entity, government, does is solidify,
fortify for the religious nut or the bigot their ultimate bias. It makes brave
and heroic gays and lesbians look little, weak, petty. Oh, you won’t bake me a
cake! I am telling! I will use armies and guns to shut you down! It’s an
obnoxious way to live, and besides the practical (my opinion of it not working
at a deeper level) is irrelevant: private business is exactly that, PRIVATE.
It ain’t yours.
Step the fuck off.
Make your own goddamn cake. Take your own fucking pictures.
The people who’ve been denied a job, fired, blocked from
participating in activities they loved have found ever creative ways around
gatekeepers. They’re social engineers in the hacker tradition, finding
workarounds. They do it themselves, most times. They do not give up or give in.
They also don’t use their plight to embolden and make
greater cause for more police buffoonery. Gays and lesbians ought to know
better than most how quickly all that power they’re giving over to the state
can turn, and turn in awful ways.
New laws. New bureaus of compliance. New enforcement officers. New fines. More courts.
New laws. New bureaus of compliance. New enforcement officers. New fines. More courts.
It’s clear who the winner is when people who’re slighted run
to the state for a redress of their grievances, and it’s not the aggrieved.
It’s the state.
Boycotts? Yes, go for it. Put the word out how that dude in
Arizona won’t bake a cake for your gay wedding (and is there anything gayer
than baking cakes!). I won’t buy from them. Fuck those idiots. Let me know
about the photographer in New Mexico who objects to lesbianism (HOW could
anyone not love lesbians!). I won’t allow such businesses to snap pictures of
my beautiful face.
But leave the cops out of it.
Cops, judges, and the many, many departments leeching
through them and into your bank account and everyday life are not the answer.
Government enforcers are useless parasites who cannot find suitable employment in
the private sector. They instead suck off productive peoples, attempting to run
producers’ lives.
Governments USE gays, lesbians, the poor, women,
African-Americans, other ethnic minorities, wars on drugs, terrorist threats,
and whatever else they can as an excuse to metastasize, enlarging their
jurisdictions into all sectors of civil discourse and society.
Starve them by refusing to cede your concerns to such
agencies. Solve your own problems by ignoring the greater evil of
governmentalism.
In a sane world, ideas like appealing to governments would
be attacked from the bushes, dragged to a bathtub, given a merciful drowning,
and then a triumphant throwing of government's limp carcass into the nearest wood chipper.
Be done with this idea. Force isn’t the way.
No one stopped their racist ways because a politician signed
a piece of paper and took credit for saving the world. Not one person in the
history of human civilization has ever thought, Well, now that the government made sodomy legal, I will like it!
What has converted hearts is the love and generosity of the
gay ethos, not laws.
Corporate greed was an early gay rights adopter, way out in
front of Obama robots rushing-in at the final hour to claim victory in its
name. People who worked with gays and lesbians, who were introduced to them
privately, at parties, within their families, quickly understood their
humanity, their courage, and their isolating societal torture.
Private businesses were the very first to offer gays
contracts allowing them to claim partners on health benefits. They were the
first to cater to gay-only festivals, nights, and parties.
On the other hand, governments were also involved in firsts
with gay rights. Governments were the first to openly discriminate against
gays, preventing them legally from adopting, from marrying, from holding joint
bank accounts, and governments were the first to beat them to a bloody pulp
(remember, police are only doing their jobs).
So, my Streisand-loving gays, my dykes on bikes, don’t
become bullies after having been bullied yourselves for so many years.
Instead, reveal what you are: lovers. Live your lives in enclaves of your
making. Continue to produce wonders in the world of art, commerce, science,
letters. Better everyone’s life by existing in pure enjoyment.
But leave governments to the brutes, to the macho gun-toting
assholes.
Don’t give governments the satisfaction of any moral high
ground in your name.
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